Why You Should Avoid Arguing With Your Partner

I am neither a psychologist nor a marriage counselor but I am happily married to the same woman for some time now and I have picked up some nuggets on my journey which can help you on your journey. I present to you my thoughts about arguing in a relationship:

  1. You never win: Even if it looks like you have won an argument, the truth is no one wins. You have only succeeded in breaking the heart of your partner
  2. You are on the way to winter (harsh) marriage when you argue: If there is any marriage that you will consider harsh, traumatic, undesirable, violent, etc., you can be sure the couples argue a lot.
  3. Arguing never works but it is sure to give you headaches
  4. It is funny how we think we can successfully change another human’s mind about anything by scolding them
  5. It is natural to feel the need to argue but trust me, it will never genuinely change the other person
  6. The sentence, “I am sorry” can save you a lot of heartaches
  7. Some times what you are arguing about is trivial: Apply the 10 10 10 rule. Simply ask yourself how you will feel about the issue in 10 minutes, 10 months, 10 years. That ought to give you some perspective.
  8. You need to be patient with each other: I strongly believe that your partner deserves a minimum of one year adjust to whatever change you require. Within the one year, groom, encourage and cut him/her some slack when he/she misses it.
  9. We just have to learn to correct each other in love: I am also working on this one. Our words have to be words that build the other person up. The difference between a coach and a critic is that a coach does not stop at what you are doing wrong, he also tells you how to improve.
  10. Always remember that you love your spouse and he/she is the most important person in your life:  I do not know about you, but there was a time when Jane’s attention meant the world to me. You just have to keep in mind those days when you are very sure you want to be with him/her.

Do you think we can get to a point where we will always choose not to argue? Let me know your thoughts in the comments below.

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